The following article was written for a Christian publication for May 2022.
Like any holiday, Mother’s Day is
sweet for some and bitter for others.
For some, it’s both. This is a
conundrum that seems paradoxical to say as we approach another Mother’s Day. What is the Good News to offer to those for
whom “Mother’s Day” is far more tragic – perhaps even traumatic – than it is
joyful? I don’t know exactly, but I do
think there is an over-arching principle that is helpful. Motherhood is not the greatest good for the
Christian woman.
Whether you are a mom or not, don’t
get caught up in sentimentalism that sets it up as some saintly role. The greatest good is being conformed to
the image of Jesus Christ to the glory of God. Now, motherhood is certainly one of God’s
primary tools in his arsenal for this purpose for women. But it is not the end itself. Being a mom doesn’t make you saintly. Being a mom often exposes all the ways you
are a sinner, not a saint. Not being a
mom and wanting to be one, does too. Some
women so long to get, looking at motherhood from afar. God sanctifies women through that
longing. Some women may lose a pregnancy
or a child and mourn the loss of our motherhood. God conforms women to Christ through that as
well. Some may have a brood of children
of various ages, and heaven knows God roots sin out of our hearts that
way. The Good News is good precisely in the
heart of the Gospel: We are all being
conformed to the image of Christ – reclaiming the image of God that he created
us to bear through grace of Jesus Christ (Colossians 1.15-23).
To the single woman watching your
biological clock tick away: Look today
at your longings through the lens of the Gospel. You don’t have to deny your longing or talk
yourself into a happy attitude for all the good things you can do without kids.
It’s ok to mourn the loss. While you are disappointed in deep ways and
that disappointment is real, your life with and in Jesus Christ is your real
legacy. In the Kingdom, you will have no
longing for something you missed. You won’t
be disappointed.
To the married woman experiencing
infertility: I encourage you with
similar words. People can be callous
with their words, especially in the church. But believe in confidence that God in this
very moment loves you with a deep love. It
seems like God is dangling a desire in front of you, teasing you with it. But understand that unfulfilled desire is a
tool God uses to give you even better things – things of himself that you
cannot know in easy ways. Wait on the
Lord, dear sister, in confidence.
And to the mom who fails her
children regularly (because that’s most every other mom I know): Preach the Gospel to yourself today. If you have any grasp on your reality, you’re
likely painfully aware of every failure you’ve made with your children. And maybe you’re fatigued by the fears of
future failure as well. It’s okay that
your children expose your own sin to yourself. Forgiveness and reconciliation are the Good
News of Jesus Christ. If you’ve sinned
against your kids, ask their forgiveness. If you’re kicking yourself for your failures,
preach God’s grace to yourself. Don’t
learn to live with your sin – don’t embrace it with the attitude “that’s just
how I am.” But don’t deny it either. Be honest about it. You sinned. You confess. God forgives. You get up and walk forward in confidence. It’s called grace, and that is the
legacy to leave your children.
So Mother’s Day, 2022, let’s hear
the Gospel call to all women – not just those who are blessed with
children: “Do not conform to the pattern
of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will
be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect
will” (Romans 12.2).