1. She knows my moods better than I do.
As an autistic man, trust me when I say, sometimes I'm clueless about how others feel -- even myself. But Kendra can detect my moods from a mile away. And she seems to know exactly what I need. Whether it's a hug or a few minutes of quiet away from the loud crowd -- I take comfort knowing that Kendra is the one person I trust enough to care for me. She won't judge me if I'm feeling crappy, and won't let me wallow in self-pity, either.
2. We have the room to learn from one another.
My wife is a genius -- and a closet nerd. From new music to movies, our tastes don't always match. But we know one another well enough to challenge each other mentally and explore new things. Her Doctor Who obsession, I can proudly proclaim, is my fault. And whatever fashion sense I have, I owe to her.
3. We check in.
We have a habit of checking in with one another. I'm chronically early. She is usually fashionably late. But we both check in on one another at various points during the day. Even if it's just a little text. It's those little acts of love, though, that make me appreciate her all the more.
4. She encourages me to relax.
Those who know me best, know how driven I am to go and do as much as I can. I often go and do more than I should, which means my health will suffer. Kendra is the voice of reason when the voices in my head won't let me stop.
5. She has her own interests/friends. And I have mine.
This is perhaps one of the things I treasure most about our marriage. We love spending time together, but we also both crave solitude now and again. We allow each other to have the space to decompress after a long day or to explore a budding hobby. When she's tinkering with her newest home decorating idea, I might be writing or reading. She usually comes to check on me after a while. We exchange kisses and hugs, inquiring into each other's progress on our respective projects. It's one of the many comforts I cherish in our relationship.
6. We tuck each other in at night.
I know. Sweet, isn't it?
7. We say "I love you". All the time.
And we mean it. I have never experienced the kind of love I have with my wife, with anyone else. It is mostly kind and patient. Though sometimes saying those three words to each other can feel like a habit without any real intention. Which is why we always come back to remembering why we chose each other. And it's in those moments that we laugh, celebrate, and take the next step -- together.
8. She keeps us dreaming, while I keep us organized.
Kendra is a creative soul. It's exciting to watch her plan and plot the newest project in decorating our home. With that creativity (nourished, as it is, by Pintrest), comes a messy mess. I love order, and she loves giving me the space to keep that order -- whether it's with the finances or the laundry. We lovingly nudge each other in different directions. And I love that with Kendra, not everything needs to be a serious conversation.
Make no doubt about it, marriage is a challenge. And it's an adventure. Which means marriage is always rewarding. In fact, just seeing a list like this -- in black and white -- makes me want to look for ways to express gratitude for our relationship. Because this is something I never want to take for granted. And it's something I wish everyone could have.
I love you, Kendra.