I spent the latter part of my childhood in a home where my parents were quite accustomed to "swearing" -- using "blue" words to get across their very colorful ideas.
In seminary, I studied with Stanley Hauerwas. Stan, as the many who know him, is the son of a Texas bricklayer, who's also a theological ethicist. Stan's language is usually shocking, precisely because he swears.
I don't swear. What's more, I intentionally discipline my speech from swearing. Because I follow Jesus, nonviolence is inherent in being a Christian. Such nonviolence also tempers my temper and disciplines my speech.
There are two ways I think about this issue -- using swear words.
First, there's a list of words I just won't ever use. Then, there's a list of words that may be used in context. That makes it easy to go through life thinking about what I'm saying.
Using God's name disrespectfully is obviously off the appropriate list. But the Bible is even more insistent than that: "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouth" (Ephesians 4.29). That's the principle here.
Of course there's forgiveness is we run afoul of that principle. But just simply having a list of acceptable and unacceptable words is, to my mind, not enough. It's like weeding the flower-bed by pulling weeds without the roots.
No, the way I've begun thinking about swearing isn't just to keep a running list of words that aren't okay to say. There's more to not swearing for Christians than that.
I learnt another way of thinking about swearing as a child. It involves not being legalistic with lists of words, but going deeper than what my tongue flaps on any general occasion.
I won't swear, not because certain words are inappropriate in themselves, but because of Jesus. "The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks" (Luke 6.45).
I've discovered, over the years, that swearing promotes my heart's violence. In other words, I think swearing is less a problem of the words we say than of the heart those words demonstrate.
It's one thing to filter put the occasional word blurted out when you've smashed your finger in the car door. It's quite another to have the need to filter a habit that demonstrates an unquiet and violent heart.
Jesus is less concerned about weeding out the occasional word because that word is on some list. He's more concerned with giving us a whole new heart -- a new life with new priorities, with new speech patterns, and a new way of handling anger and violence.
That's what makes the language and the speech of prophets in the Old Testament so shocking. Their language is bold precisely in how they say what they say without falling into patterns of speech that look all-too-familiar. What compelled us to listen to the modern prophets like Dr King is their way of speaking that's challenging while also encouraging, full of wonder, delight, honesty, simplicity, and child-likeness.
I'm a sinner. And God has never once, in his holy loving-kindness ever sworn at me. His love -- not his violence in speaking -- that's what compels me not to swear.
Loved with words of welcome, my angry heart is calmed. My hardened heart softened by grace, I find a fresh desire to "speak the truth with love" (Ephesians 4.15). Graced with words of grace, my words are meant to be graceful.
Which, as it turns out, is precisely the Christian goal for speaking: "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear" (Ephesians 4.29).
It's not so much the words as Jesus himself that makes all the difference in whether I swear or not.