Of all the sins, there are some the Christian community most tolerates. This one is on that tolerable list.
Some months ago, I cared enough about a friend to confront her judgmentalism (Matthew 18 only matters and is possible in a context of care, outside that it's just judgmentalism). Her critical spirit and condemning attitude was pervading nearly everything -- as judgmentalism will do. It had even led her to believe this this judgmental spirit was a "discerning spirit", as if she could see others as God sees them.
So I warned her. That's dangerously close to blasphemy -- assuming our judgments are God's judgments. It is a dangerous spiritual path for Christians to walk, I said. And she responded by instantly severing our friendship. I was judging her, she said, and she had no room for judgmental people.
We haven't spoken in months.
Today, as I prayed for her and her family, I thought of Paul's admonitions in 1 Corithians 12.12-31. She is still part of Christ's body, and still my sister. Judging her isn't the answer. But naming the judgmentalism that rids me from her life isn't something we Christians should tolerate amongst ourselves, either.
This post isn't about disputes. Disagreements are possible only when there are shared things we care about. No, the issue here isn't difference. It's disposition.
It's not about who's right and who's wrong; it's about applying the gospel to our sinfully critical spirits and condemning attitudes. We might think of judgmental people as those with "stricter" standards, but people with "looser" standards can be judgmental, too. Whatever our views may be on disputed issues, we can be guilty of judgmentalism. Jesus died under the weight of that judgmentalism.
When our minds are fixed on Jesus, there's every reason to love others -- even our enemies. God has foregone judging me by any other standard than love. So it's my place to do the same.
The sin of judgmentalism is so pervasive and tolerated precisely because it's practiced under the guise of being zealous for what's right. That's what enabled and ennobled my friend's judgmentalism. She was so sure she was on the side of God's truth.
What she missed is that God's truth is God's love. God's patient, kind, forgiving, bearing love (1 Corithians 13).
It's obvious that our contemporary Christian culture knows a lot about arguing for truth. The myriads of opinions on theology, politics and conduct are proof of that.
But how much of that truth is loving? How often do we Christians -- and I'm looking at myself in the mirror here -- "speak the truth in love" (Ephesians 4.15)?
The goal of such humble, loving speech isn't being right. It's being Jesus in the world: "Growing up in every way into Jesus", as Paul puts it.
That's precisely the point at which judgmentalism becomes an issue. We equate our opinions with truth, but leave no room for that truth to be loving.
"If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, 'Jump', and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing" (1 Corinthians 13.2).
Of course, even in writing this I run the risk of judgmentalism in reverse.
Which reminds me of Romans 14. Paul's advice there applies. It doesn't matter which side of an argument you're on. It's easy for us to become judgmental of those who are different. And then hide our judgmentalism under the cloak of Christian conviction.
Thing is, Paul will have none of it. "Stop judging one another, regardless the position you take" (Romans 14).
The corrective to judgmentalism is the biblical practice of humility. Which introduces an openness and ambiguity that lots of us find uncomfortable.
It's uncomfortable, though, precisely because it crowds out judgmentalism.