That word -- humility -- conjures up notions of self-esteem (or, rather, lack thereof) as the principal definition. For lots of folks, humility is short-hand for thinking less of one's self.
This is a problem, especially for women in our culture. It's yet another way of controlling and manipulating folks into submission (often assumed to be a negative thing). So is there a way to define humility in such a way so as to remove the power-plays and manipulation while promoting something (what the Bible calls "edification")? I think there is.
First, I want to call attention to a little known work that is going to inform how I proceed here. Tex Sample's White Soul is one of those books that has received less attention from serious theology types. And that's an impoverishment of our work.
I grew up listening to country music. Even watching Hee Haw as a weekly ritual. So it's no surprise, then, that I'd be drawn to Sample's analysis of country music as a window through which to gain understanding of the thought-world of poor and working-class white folks, whom mainline Protestantism, like the rest of the American cultural and academic elite, has tended either to ignore or to impugn. The book combines autobiography, confession, oral history, sociological analysis, literary textual criticism, philosophical argument, and theological reflection. It also goes a long way into providing the formula I want to propose for understanding humility.
What, exactly, is humility? That's a hard question. Think about it. Try to define humility. It isn't easy.
Further, even if you had a good definition in hand could you measure humility? You can't really ask someone, "Are you humble?" How would a humble person answer such a question? Yes? No?
First, I want to turn to Benedict of Nursia for some help.
A little background. About the year 500, Benedict left the comfort of a student's life in Rome and chose the life of an ascetic monk in the pursuit of personal holiness, living as a hermit in a cave near Subiaco. In time, setting a shining example with his zeal, he began to attract disciples. After considerable initial struggles with his first community at Subiaco, he eventually founded the monastery of Monte Cassino, where he wrote his Rule in about 530.
The Rule is a book of precepts written for monks living in community under the authority of an abbot. During the 1500 years of its existence, The Rule has become the leading guide in Western Christianity for monastic living in community, both in Catholicism and (since the time of the Reformation) in the Anglican and Protestant traditions. As such, The Rule is considered to be a masterpiece in the Christian literature on spiritual formation. I want to focus on selections from Chapter V (On Obedience) and Chapter VII (On Humility) of The Rule.
Second, there's the New Testament notion of κένωσις, kenosis. Kenosis is a Greek word for emptiness, which is used as a theological term. The ancient Greek word kenosis means an "emptying", from kenos "empty". The word is mainly used, however, in a Christian theological context, for example Philippians 2.7, "Jesus made himself nothing (ἐκένωσεν) ..." (NIV) or "...he emptied himself..." (NRSV), using the verb form κενόω, "to empty".
Thirdly, Gelassenheit (pronounced Ge-las-en-hite), is the Amish term for self-surrender, resignation in God's will, yieldedness to God's will, self-abandonment, the (passive) opening to God's willing, including the readiness to suffer for the sake of God. It is a governing principle of Amish life.
Finally, there's the account from John 13 about Jesus' washing the feet of the disciples.
Generally, when we think of humility we conjure up ego-depletion models. That is, humility we think should involve some kind of attenuation of self-valuing or self-worth. And it does appear that some NT passages point toward ego-depletion (e.g., "consider others better than yourself"). But we also know that it takes a great deal of ego-strength, true strength of character, to act as the kind of servant Jesus depicted in John 13 (ever stooped to wash another's feet?). Further, for servanthood to be a moral demonstration it must act from strength (Gandhi knew this well). If people serve others out of fear or low self-esteem the service looks more like dependency than moral resolve.
So, ego-depletion models of humility seem problematic. What, then, is humility if it is less concerned with ego?
If you look over those notions and texts I mentioned above, a certain theme strikes me. Thus, I propose this formulation of humility for your consideration:
Fundamentally, humility has to do with how you behave in hierarchies.
In both NT passages above, we see Jesus eschewing his high place in the hierarchy. Jesus' display of "emptying" (kenosis) is intimately tied up with his refusal to act from the high place in the hierarchy. Look at how hierarchy bookends both stories in an A-B-A format, High Status : Low Status : High Status:
The point of this High Status : Low Status : High Status structure is that kenosis and humility seems less about ego-depletion than about eschewing one's place in a hierarchy. Jesus is clearly high status, and remains so; he begins and ends in the High Status position. Yet -- and here's the point -- he refuses to act in a High Status manner. He's a High Status person acting in a Low Status manner. Thus, his actions make for a powerful moral demonstration.
Revisiting Benedict's Rule we see that humility is manifested in the subordinate, the monk, showing obedience to the superior, the Abbot. This is fine for monastic order and structure, but it should be expanded by the notion that Christians are to "submit to one another". Thus, as Jesus showed, we don't interact with each other via hierarchy. We eschew hierarchy and serve one another. Even if we are in a High Status position we take a Low Status role.
Benedict's Rule helps us evaluate how well we are doing in this. A few criteria come to mind as we evaluate our humility/kenosis, the eschewing of hierarchy (quotes are from the Rule):
1. Are we interruptible? "And so as it were at the same moment the master's command is given and the disciple's work is completed ..."
To be interruptible is to take a Low Status position. Those who interrupt are High Status, their agenda and concerns are trumping a Low Status agenda and concerns. Thus, to be interruptible is to take a Low Status position.
2. Are we swift to respond? "... the two things being speedily accomplished together in the swiftness of the fear of God"
High Status people can take their time responding to Low Status people. Why? The time of High Status people is valuable and that of Low Status people less so. Thus, to respond to a request quickly is to signal that you believe that the requester's time is High Status/Important. Your quickness signals your assumption of a Low Status role.
3. Are we cheerful and uncomplaining? "And the disciples should offer their obedience with a good will ... For if the disciple obeys with an ill will and murmurs, not necessarily with his lips but simply in his heart, then even though he fulfill the command yet his work will not be acceptable to God, who sees that his heart is murmuring"
Generally, complaints run downhill, from High Status to Low. Thus, to refrain from complaining you signal Low Status.
4. Are we willing to admit error and mistakes? " ... humbly confess ..."
Inversely correlated with complaining, apology typically flows uphill, from Low Status to High. To be quick to accept mistakes and admit error is another Low Status signal.
5. Do we dress in a way that signals we are High Status? " ... a monk [should] not only have humility in his heart but also by his very appearance make it always manifest to those who see him whether he is at the Work of God, in the oratory, in the monastery, in the garden, on the road, in the fields or anywhere else, whether sitting, walking or standing"
Finally, the cost of clothing signals status. To wear modest (i.e., less expensive) clothing again displays Lower Status. Also, more "comfortable" clothing signals Low Status. You can do manual labor in Low Status clothing (e.g., jeans). High Status clothing intentionally signals that the person is not going to do manual labor (e.g, a suit and tie). (This is something Sample expresses several times. And it's the background for my choice of simple wardrobe.)
Look over Benedict’s Rule and think of more kenosis criteria. There is lots to be explored here, both inside and outside the Rule. (I detect a coming series.)
In sum, I conclude this: Humility has to do with how you behave in hierarchies. More precisely, to be humble has very little to do with your self-esteem. Rather, humility has everything to do with your willingness to assume Low Status roles in everyday encounters. Humility has to do with living a human life as depicted by Jesus.