We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
Lots of us, in fact, want to believe we're someone else. We usually say we're not really the miserable, grumpy, cynical, obstructive or unreasonable person we appear to be -- it's just that, right now, there are some extenuating circumstances. The boss is being a Nazi. Our childhood sucked. Money's tight. We just don't have the time. It's not my problem. We like to imagine we could change the world -- or at least our little corner -- if circumstances were different. Inside our heads we're convinced that we're kind, forward-thinking, engaged members of society who, given half the chance, would be working to make the world a better place.
Thing is, Aristotle was right. We are what we do. That miserable, grumpy, cynical, obstructive or unreasonable person we appear to be is who we actually are as far as the rest of world is concerned.
It doesn't matter what we might do if the circumstances were right. It doesn't matter about changing our internal dialogue. We do what we give ourselves psychological, ethical permission to do. We're that person in that moment. That's what Gandhi meant by, "You must be the change you want to see in the world".
This is why Aristotle also said, if you want to become a kind and generous person, change your habits. In other words: Get very busy doing certain kinds of behaviors.
Our culture likes to support procrastination, idleness, inaction -- we're kept numb by the steady stream of "information" that overwhelms our ability to respond to the world. We're left to feel hopeless. So Aristotle's principle applies equally not only to being a better friend, but to fixing even the smallest things in our world.